Dear Maria Sharapova

Dear Canon digital camera makers,

     I don't very much appreciate my shiny new (and blue) camera lasting for a total of 5 photos before the new batteries die.  Wales trip?  Sorry, no pix for you - I hope you have a very good memory (which i don't...).  Anthropology walk?  Oh don't worry about passing the class; course credit is sooo over-rated.  Giant rally, march, and riots?  Screw awesome stories and their visual evidence - visual evidence is like the Les Stroud of evidence: dull and so 20th century (Bear Grylls forever, just sayin').
     Now, I'm not going to say that Canon lured me into buying a camera by painting it shiny blue and calling it PowerShot(!).  I'm not going to go there...  But that's exactly what they did, and no one's going to be able to stop them from doing it again and again because Canon is such a huge, faceless corporation.  What ever shall we do...?  Maybe hold a protest rally against it...oh wait, I wouldn't even know how to do that because I couldn't take pictures to help me remember.  Damn you, Canon, with your catch-22s and Chinese fingertraps of logic!  Maybe instead of the PowerShot A495 I should have bought the A496, or the B495.  But they were just so darn expensive (and made up for comedic purposes).  I dare say that Canon is capitalizing off of and discriminating against poor students and economy-stricken photographers.  Shame on you, and your little dog too.  (That's right, like the Wicked Witch.  But I suppose I should have made you say that then...damn it never mind.  I thought it was kind of clever at least, what with the rhyming and the pop culture references...for the 1920s.  Ugh.).
     Now I need to find a new camera very soon or my 21 days of travel are going to seem very lame to my family.  As a result, they're going to make me pay for my plane ticket home, which I won't be able to do, leaving me with no choice but to join the traveling circus.  Shucks, I'm terrified of clowns...

             Love,
                  Photogra-forget-about-it
     
P.S. I hope people get the reference (Sharapova had that commercial: "Make every shot a PowerShot".  She's still fairly attractive, I guess, so I'll leave her out of this)