You suck. Shakespeare had you wrapped around his little finger, but ever since then you've been annoying. Why did you make it take me over an hour to write one of you? All I wanted was to sleep, but noooooo, you had to go and be all prissy and difficult. Die in a fire.
-Jackie
P.S. Dear Shakespeare, your sonnets are lovely and fun and great. Come back to life and teach me, please.
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